A guy walks in on a wake at a local bar. He's met at the door by one of the patrons who explains that they're mourning an accordion player who died penniless. The patron asks the guy if he can spare five dollars to help bury an accordion player.

The guy hands the patron a ten and says "Here, bury two".

... reminds me of this conversation:

"We're taking up a collection to off (fill in the blank with the name of the universally hated individual). We found a hit man who'd do the job for $2000. Would you like to donate to the cause?"

"Sure. Here's $100. How much have you collected so far?"

"Counting your donation, $5800."

... or this conversation:

A high society hostess asked Isaac Stern to perform for a private party.

$10,000 was his fee, he said.

"That will be fine", she said. "But, remember, you are not to socialize with any of the guests!"

"In that case," Stern replied, "my fee will be $5000."

What's the most fun trombone to play?

A Yamahaha

Back when I was a grad student in Chicago I hooked up with a polka band that played a monthly dance on the south side. The accordion player in that group was a real monster player, amazing chops and a great improviser. He knew 100s of polka tunes by memory.

One gig he came running in late, which was very unusual for him. He had stopped for gas on the way to the gig and went inside to pay (this was in the early 90s, before paying at the pump was common). He had left his accordion sitting in the back seat of his car. Sure enough, when he came out after paying the window to his car was smashed and there was a second accordion on his back seat.

*rim shot*