Spouses of trombone players

tbdana · by **tbdana** » 2024-05-02 2:13 p.m.

Some spouses have less tolerance for our trombone habit than others. I'm very lucky. My spouse is very supportive, in general. In fact, my spouse is the reason I started playing again. I had just retired and we had just moved to the country. I had nothing to do, no friends, and was feeling isolated. Then we got snowed in and for three weeks were without power, heat, water, phones, internet, or sanity. I said, "That's it, I'm done. Let's sell this place and move back to L.A." But instead of that, my spouse went and bought me a trombone and said, "Here, play this." And I did, and got addicted and became a super happy person. I met people, I had something to do, I got friends, and I even started making money.

Last night I came home from rehearsal to see that my spouse -- a master sushi chef -- had made me this!

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I am extremely fortunate to have a completely supportive spouse! But not all of us are so lucky.

Tell me about your spouse, good or bad. In fact, the bad stories are more fun! LOL! :D And the good stories are heartwarming. So...'fess up about your spouse. :)

Burgerbob · by **Burgerbob** » 2024-05-02 2:23 p.m.

Let's put it this way... I have a room with 20+ horns in it and we are still happily married.

JohnL · by **JohnL** » 2024-05-02 2:39 p.m.

I married a horn player, so we generally share "the habit" as far as playing, though she more tolerates my Olds collection than encourages it.

We' met in college band; her degree is in Civil Engineering, mine is in Metallurgical Engineering. We're both retired now and her main non-music interest is lacemaking (there's a display case in the dining room full of her work and the various awards she's won over the years).

Interesting anecdote? We both prefer cars with manual transmissions. When we're car shopping, the sales person will invariably try to pitch an automatic transmission to her; she just laughs at them. That red Subaru WRX in the driveway isn't my car, it's hers.

harrisonreed · by **harrisonreed** » 2024-05-02 3:55 p.m.

That sushi looks pretty damn good

sf105 · by **sf105** » 2024-05-02 3:58 p.m.

Can I come to around your house to visit?

Doug_Elliott · by **Doug_Elliott** » 2024-05-02 4:03 p.m.

Just don't forget that your sushi chef wife has knives and knows how to use them.

Mamaposaune · by **Mamaposaune** » 2024-05-02 8:54 p.m.

Well, since hubby and I are both trombonists, I suppose we tolerate each other's obsession with collecting a variety of trombones. I might even say encourage - if he buys another horn, he certainly can't be critical if I buy another, and vice-versa, right? It is both a blessing and a curse.

JohnL · by **JohnL** » 2024-05-02 9:17 p.m.

[quote="Mamaposaune"]Well, since hubby and I are both trombonists, I suppose we tolerate each other's obsession with collecting a variety of trombones. I might even say encourage - if he buys another horn, he certainly can't be critical if I buy another, and vice-versa, right? It is both a blessing and a curse.[/quote]
Sounds kinda like a positive feedback circuit...

andym · by **andym** » 2024-05-02 9:28 p.m.

My wife once called trombone the background music of her life. But she is very supportive. And she used to have a voice teacher who taught out of our music room one afternoon a week. One time I was on the phone and the customer support person said that I had an amazing stereo and I told them it was actually live in our house. Sopranos working on opera can be pretty loud too.

MStarke · by **MStarke** » 2024-05-03 4:33 a.m.

My wife is generally supportive. I have moved from studying trombone professionally to a completely different career. My wife actually appreciated that I picked up the trombone as a hobby again. She isn't too happy about the amount of trombones I have in multiple places in the house and doesn't always appreciate when I am practicing in the evening or going to rehearsals. On the other hand everybody needs some freedom. We have 3 kids that are still relatively small, one of them with very intense special needs. That means we are extremely busy with the kids and both my wife and I need some freedom from that as well. My wife usually invests a little more time in sports and meeting her (female) friends, I spend my free time mostly on the trombone.

officermayo · by **officermayo** » 2024-05-03 8:32 a.m.

[quote="Burgerbob"]Let's put it this way... I have a room with 20+ horns in it and we are still happily married.[/quote]

I get UPS to deliver horns somewhere other than my home. My wife cannot negotiate the stairs down to my basement man cave and has no idea how many horns are lurking there. Thank goodness for the back door entrance.

What she doesn't know won't hurt ME. <EMOJI seq="1f601" tseq="1f601">😁</EMOJI>

MrHCinDE · by **MrHCinDE** » 2024-05-03 12:37 p.m.

My very understanding other half plays violin/viola, we met each other through music. We played in the same youth orchestra and the first time we spoke to each other properly was by the Statue of Liberty on a youth orchestra tour to the US. At that time she knew me as a tubist, not sure if that makes her more or less understanding. She’s travelled with me on band tours and helped out selling CDs during performances etc. so I’d say she’s pretty committed to life as a trombonist’s spouse!

On the number of horns, I’m operating a one in, one out policy at the moment. That’s probably for the best.

Kingfan · by **Kingfan** » 2024-05-03 9:06 p.m.

When I met my wife I was playing in a so-so big band and a community band, neither kind of music was her cup of tea. She supported my playing as a way to de-stress from my job. it wasn't until the first time she heard me in a high quality brass quintet in a church with great acoustics she "got it" and was proud of me as a musician.

whitbey · by **whitbey** » 2024-07-11 5:02 p.m.

Current wife is wonderful. She has a good ear and will say when I sound better. Will only say not so good if I ask.

Last wife......Was the spit valve of wives. Funny her next husband plays euphonium that I double on.

The dog. years ago now. Would lay near me and listen. Seemed he had a good ear. When I played well, I got the happy sniff. When I hit a bad note, he would lift his head and stare. Fix it and you could get a sniff.

flyingcow · by **flyingcow** » 2024-07-18 2:05 p.m.

My violinist wife just a couple weeks ago:

"You should buy that Conn Bass."

I love her.

mwpfoot · 2024-07-18 2:24 p.m.

We met in college marching band; a lot of our friends did too. She became drum major, I dug in as an overblower, arranger, and crappy marcher. We still play together in an adult marching band.

I was playing bone in a rock band when our first was born. She was supportive of me staying at it, and enjoyed the change of pace when I was out gigging. I left the band when our second was born because two babies at home was not the same gentle bonding experience haha. 8 years later, I was asked to to rejoin the horn section and it made sense. Now we sometimes structure our family weekends around my gigs; weekend in Santa Cruz, etc.

Our house looks like a music store. Trombones in every room, big old wooden xylophone and two tubas in the front window, office stuffed with a drumset, keyboards, guitars, amps,

I do all the cooking though.

:hi:

elmsandr · by **elmsandr** » 2024-07-18 2:53 p.m.

My wife is a flute/woodwind player. I think between us we have at least two of everything. She tolerates the accumulating trombone collection as trombones are generally cheap… my last two part acquisitions combined cost less than her last re-pad.

Cheers,

Andy

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